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Lamers Guild

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Joined: 01 Oct 2002
Posts: 755

Level: 24
EXP: 57 / 68 EXP: 57 / 68 EXP: 57 / 68
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2003 4:54 pm    Post subject: Lamers Guild Reply with quote

Lamers Guild a new non serious Guild for those who are truly awfull at playing Dyso .Membership is honary all that is required is a totally lame story of misadventure.
Well mine to start
........................there was A cleric who proud of her training and skill decided it was time to test the Clothy.Off she went to Butterfly stopping to buy a pile **about 14 heals on route**.No fear charged into the cave spells sparkling away auras glowing .Away went the summons zap .On came the Glothy hurt he was crying abit.But our intrepid Cleric was begginning to get sore too Time for heal .Quickly finding the green phial she tried to drink ..err no effect ..err the Gloth is begiinning to bite ..rummagges through her bags..Whats this she noticed lots of Antidotes but no Heals.
Her final thought as Glothy killed her and stole her life savings **why am i so stupiddddd.................**for those that missed it I bought 14 or 15 antidotes not heals and didnt notice.

This isnt the first time ive behaved over and beyond the call of intelligence.I think its time people like me the true Lame players of Dyso are properly recognized..a guild for those who trulyb stumble to *greatness*...last word erased replaced with ..levels.

If thts not enuf there is the story of a 17th season Cleric who managed to get killed by thieves in Elerina valley ....and not many thieves at that.
"It is almost universally felt that when we call a country democratic we are praising it; consequently, the defenders of every kind of regime claim that it is a democracy, and fear that they might have to stop using the word if it were tied down to any one meaning."

-George Orwell

"Orwell was right : Pacifists are the objective allies of tyrants."

As said by Pompey the Great
Do not talk to us of Laws.we have swords
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Joined: 20 Apr 2003
Posts: 199

Level: 13
EXP: 5 / 30 EXP: 5 / 30 EXP: 5 / 30
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2003 5:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for lightening my day!

Here is a good early story... a 1st level barbarian thinks he is buying 1 potion of antidote but clicks on 10 instead! Then he has no gold left and must fight in his tunic! He dies over and over until he can finally loot enough gold to buy at least some crappy armor. It takes him weeks to finally make up for all the lost gold!

Here is the latest story... off to Dragon Valley to encounter a rumored dragon, a barbarian of 17 "seasons" forgets to put on his dragon armor (because he wants to look nice for the dragon if it's there, I guess). He also forgets to use an aid and a bless and a barkskin and a bull's strength. Heh... he even still had on his belt of guiding light and his amulet of lesser health (as if the dragon would poison him and use finger of death or something). When he finds the dragon, he is SERIOUSLY underpowered and even forgets to rage! Yupo... he dies several times over before others arrive to help... bah!

Where do we sign up?
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PostWed 05/14/03 6:12pm
Youre in ................Im sure there more stories waiting to be shared out there  Reply with quote

Level: 51
EXP: 189 / 280 EXP: 189 / 280 EXP: 189 / 280
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2003 7:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A fighter goes into an area angry at theives and starts disarming them until they get it smart and go unarmed and start stealing from him, the fighter keeps trying to stupidly disarm even though he cant touch the rogues massive 55 ac's, so the fighter is sitting there dying from loosing item as the theives run and run and all have on swordsmans belts to avoid him, the fighter has a nifty item that can kill with a fort save vs the 7 fort no death magic immune rogues, he keeps getting stolen from but forgets he uses it and as his strength is drained from criplling strike he becomes encumbered and cant walk so the rogues keep laughing and joyfully pping him then after all his leet ownage items are gone they pick him off with bows and rez raped him, and if ONLY he had remembered to buy greater restore instead of lesser restore he might have won.... and if he had used that scroll he had of wail of the bansheee he might have actually killed them all at once instead of having to loose every item he had....

heres another great one, a wizard goes into his tower and is very lonely so he summons a subbubus and binds her to him so he can have a playmate for enjoyment and pleasure, only after he summons the outsider does he realize he forgot to cast protection from evil 10" radius -OOPS- the gate opens and balors start pouring through until the wizard tries to cast invisibility and hide in a corner when a spectral beholder walks through and the antimagic fields destroy his invis, he is standing there naked infront of 40 some odd balors as they laugh at his puniness with the succubus laughing at him teasing him before they decide to truly humiliate him and all the balors cast a team spell that projects an image of the naked wizard into the middle of a town of 1000000 people and they laugh at him while he is naked huddling in a corner from demons, the demons laugh leave him there and start rampagfing around the town in the disguise of a very hot squad of killer chics out for fun, when they start casting the wild farts spell and everyone in town dies from obnoxious gas and the wizard suddenly has to endure the worst torment as sune somehow comes in through the opened portal in his lab and as he stands before the beautiful lady firehair he passes out and she smirks, then sending the gate and demons back to hell before waking the poor arch wizard p and giving him a special item that calls any woman in the world to him she says, so after a few days curiousity gets the best of him and he goes and tries the item, he thinks it will teleport women to him when he activates it and POOF, he gets teleported into a jail cell with a very depived ogre staring at him with a sly grin, he starts crying as the ogre comes up behind him and he says to himself, why oh why did i want to have unprotected sex with a succubus?!?!?!?

moral of the story, make sure to have PROTECTION!!!!!!!!!!


ok ... that was a bit long... lol
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